Dating After an Unhealthy Relationship
Especially if your last relationship was a really unhealthy one, it’s important that you avoid doing the following now that you are dating again.
1. Don’t pass judgement over all men based on what your ex did. It’s not uncommon for women to say there are no good men out there. That’s a total lie so don’t tell it to yourself.
2. Don’t doubt people based on your ex: Especially if your ex was a cheater and/or liar, you may feel like you’ll never be able to trust anyone again. This is a huge mistake that people regularly make. Are there other liars and cheaters out there? yes but it doesn’t mean that you are going to end up with another. Consider that anybody new that you meet has nothing to do with your ex or any other guy you’ve dated or been in a relationship with. This leads to my next point:
3. Do your best not to compare the new people you meet with your ex. In the beginning, you probably aren’t going to help but do this but with enough awareness, you can nip that behavior. There are 2 reasons for not doing this: #1. It takes you from being there in the moment and #2. You slime the experience that you are having with the new person that you are hanging out with.
4. Don’t try to find the same exact qualities that you liked in your ex. For example, I’ve heard women say, “I want a guy that’s as tall as my ex.” And their ex was 6 foot something and he must like skiing. Those are two very specific qualities that would narrow your chances of meeting a great match. It’s important that you can see people for who they are and know that when the right person comes along, there will be new great qualities that you are able to appreciate and you never know, you might end up introducing this new person to things that he or she enjoys.
One of the blessings that I’ve received from working with so many people is that I’ve seen people go from unhealthy relationships and marriages to great ones where they are truly happy. It is possible for you to be in a healthy relationship where you want and needs are met. So, stay positive while dating and just see what happens.
I will soon be launching my new coaching, hypnotherapy and more membership website that is going to have a whole program for single people who are dating. It will encompass the mindsets that I’ve just shared with you. Be sure to go to my website and sign up for my newsletter so that the moment new membership site is up, I can let you know.